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Yep, the tittle sounds weird, doesn’t it? But you know the times in your life that you had a boyfriend/girlfriend and thought it was forever, the one and only love of your life, blah, blah, blah? And then you break up, he/she breaks your heart, or you break his/her’s. Until one day you meet someone else and you think “Wow, now THIS is love! I realize I never had loved before!”
Every new love makes us believe we never felt that way before. All because the time has passed and we healed our wounds – or we think we did. All because we wanted to forget the amazing romantic moments of our previous relationships because it ended, done, kaput! We trained our minds not to remember these moments because, other way, we cannot heal! And we‘re too much of cowards to confront our own feelings!
But you know, you did love this way before! I did it too! What I really think is that we make all this ridiculous thoughts to protect ourselves and to believe the old romance ended because this new one had to has place in our life! Yeah… No, nothing was written in the stars! The other romance ended because something stopped working, or the love ended, or just because you grew in different directions!
I’m laughing… Maybe I’m the weird one, but every time I loved somebody, I loved him forever, with all my heart! I was never able to half-love, kind of love, almost love, and I don’t believe this is possible! The new love is the ONE? Great! Off course it is! Is the ONE now, in this moment, like your other lovers were in their moment! And this is how life is supposed to be!
But, please, be a real person and assume you did love more than anything before! It’s OK, it’ll not hurt! Just assume it and say to yourself the truth of your heart! You and your new lover have to do the same because you’ll always love your new lover better than the anterior(s) one(s) because we’re all suppose to grow and learn in each of our relationships. We learn better with practice, right? So…
And I’m so proud I did love my old lovers like they were unique! And I love to remember the fantastic and beautiful romantic moments I had with them! The rolling skate ring with slow music so we could roll holding hands. The weekends in some friend’s farm in Brazil in front of the fire place drinking some probably cheap wine. The night clubs in Rio dancing cheek-to-cheek. The car racings in Rio or São Paulo race tracks. The drives through Rio coast during the sunset in his convertible listen to Grover Washington Jr.. Buzios and the windsurf. If you ask me if I would drop everything again to stay in Europe because of him, I would say yes. I would, in that time I would.
I can’t forget the motorcycle day trips to little towns in the Mediterranean coast, or through the Catalunya mountains! The trips to Tiradentes during the winter and the night life with bodyguards around because he owned the club and he was too jealous. The long nights at the internet just to be able to chat with him having to go to work the morning after like a zombie! Do you want to know if I would drop everything to go to California? Yes, even knowing how it ended, if I was in that same time, I would do it again! And the songs that were wrote for me, they’ll still be written for me.
And other lovers will come, and I hope I’ll love him/them the same way I did it before: giving all my heart! I really like to keep the memories of the fantastic moments I had with the men I loved. Maybe I can do that because I’m totally fine and happy by myself and I never really needed anyone to be happy. A lot of times I wanted to have someone in my life to share it, but I didn’t need anyone because I’m totally able to create my own happiness.
Maybe I can do this because of this independent and free spirit I have. Maybe I can do this because I’m really healed… Maybe only because I’m like this, me!